CHILDREN
TRIALS
&
HAPPINESS
Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah (SWT), with Him is a great reward (Paradise).” (Qur’aan 64:15)
My dear sisters: Children are indeed a blessing from Allah (SWT). Allah (SWT) mentions that He will provide sustenance for you and them. (Quran 6:151). Children bring so much joy and happiness into our lives and indeed make our family complete. When they are babies, we are pleased to show their innocent smiles and bright eyes to all. When they are toddlers, we are happy to show off their ability, asking them to repeat words, numbers, duas, etc. When they are teens and young adults, we continue to acknowledge their accomplishments in our conversation with others. Also, during this period, for some of us, are our biggest trials with our children. As unfortunate as it is, it is a reality of parenthood. For those who are parents of teenagers and young adults, we all know how difficult these times can be, and just when we think we are the only one going through these problems, we find that we are not alone. Many families are experiencing these same dilemmas and struggles with their children. Whether the children are not listening, lazy, falling behind in school, in the wrong company, some may be talking rudely to their parents, others keeping everything to themselves; families are experiencing these various types of misbehavior. These issues are difficult to deal with, especially when these children have been brought up in good households, with good parents and with a solid Islamic foundation. Sometimes parents question themselves, whether they did enough, however, we must not lose sight of that effort we made to give them that spiritual guidance and Islamic knowledge. It is these core values that were instilled in them, along with our duas and patience, and most of all Allah’s (SWT) mercy and assistance that will bring parents relief and success with their children. We cannot give up and react angrily to drive them away; they are a trial for us. Remember, Allah (SWT) has entrusted us with our children and it is our responsibility to take care of them. We will be questioned on the Day of Judgment, about the Islamic education and the treatment of our children. Many times parents have been pushed to the edge or reached the end of the rope with their misbehaving child, but it is at those times we need to hold on tight to Allah’s promise, that after every test comes relief (Quran 94:5). Allah (SWT) alone knows why, when and how changes will come, but, (Insha Allah), it will come. Parents need to continue to encourage their children to pray to Allah (SWT) and they (parents) must pray for the well-being of their children and show their children they are loved, no matter what they do or have done. We need to tell them we love them. This stage in their life is also difficult for them. They are trying to adapt from being mommy’s or daddy’s little boy or girl to an independent person of their own. They are finding their own identity, getting along with their peers, there is also peer pressure, schoolwork that may be difficult, there are physical and chemical changes happening, as well as psychological and emotional transitions. Caring for and raising children in the proper manner is a duty on parents and it is not always easy. In fact, Allah (SWT) reminds us in the Quran that children may even be a great trial for parents. They can bring great joy and at times, they can bring great sadness as well. Allah (SWT) in his infinite wisdom never leaves a human being alone and unable to face all of life’s trials. It is always important to remember that if we follow the teachings of Islam, it enables us to face all life events, including the trials, the tribulations and the triumphs. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock.” Once again, let us all understand that the issues we face with our children are common among many families. Seek advice first and foremost from the Quran, from the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), from your Imam, from your parents, make dua for relief, and try to keep your relationship with your children a loving, friendly and warm relationship (Insha Allah).
“It is one thing to show your child the way, and a harder thing to then stand out of it.” ~ Unknown
For help with family issues, please contact “Muslim Social Services of South Florida” @ 561-318-0786 / E-mail: [email protected] 